Category Archives: Friends

Facing down Nemo

New York WeatherI sit in warm comfort in Memphis, Tennessee, preparing for speaking gigs over the next two days. But my thoughts turns to New York City and the people of the Northeast.

Snowmageddon, in some form, has struck. Many people are or will be inconvenienced by the storm; some will be threatened: people who have no shelter, people still recovering from Sandy, and people who must, for whatever reason be outside. My heart aches with worry for my sisters and brother.

The invitation to visit Memphis came last fall. I purchased the ticket in December, scheduling the flight for Thursday.

Early last week, I pondered changing the ticket to leave New York today – Friday. The change fee proved more than I was willing to pay.

Only after I had decided not to change my ticket did I start paying attention to the weather. And I realized that I would still be in New York if I had made the change. Airlines had begun cancelling Friday flights by the time I arrived at LaGuardia on Thursday afternoon.

Part of me gives thanks that I made it to Memphis. I am with good people, eating too much good food, and having great opportunities to share about the Presbyterian Ministry at the United Nations.

Part of me wishes I were in New York – as the city and the region deal with Nemo.

All of me wishes for safety for all people who are in the path of the storm.

All of me gives thanks for all people who care for sisters and brothers – going in harm’s way or providing shelter from the storm.

See you along the Trail.

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Filed under Current Events, Friends, New York, Presbyterian Ministry at the United Nations, Travel

Run, Irene, run

IreneMy friend Irene will run her first half-marathon on April 7: the Santa Cruz half-marathon.

She will run in memory of our mutual friend Cindy Bolbach.

In Cindy’s memory, Irene will raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

I have contributed to the cause. You can too.

After she learned of my contribution, Irene sent me a message of thanks.

“What more can I do to support you,” I asked.

Irene was online at the time as well. She replied, “As part of my training, I will not eat sweets or dessert until I run. You could do that, too.”

I stared at the screen a long, long time before responding. The folly of asking questions when he answers might be acceptable occurred to me.

But I have a deep admiration for Cindy. And cancer has claimed too many friends and people I do not know through the years.

After what must have seemed like an eternity to Irene, I responded. It took about three or four days of sporadic electronic conversation before I agreed.

On January 1, I started. No sweets. No desserts. And I have done it. I wish I could say I cut out those categories all together. But I have not. I simply have replaced them with nuts and crackers and chips.

Guiness Jameson ShakeA chocolate Guinness Jameson shake identified by my friends Bruce and Nancy has tempted. Sorely tempted me. But I have resisted.

Several late nights I have wanted to head to the local convenience store and exchange a fistful of dollars for a sackful of chocolate. But I have prevailed. Sometimes I go and get more nuts. But I have prevailed.

For almost a month I have resisted and prevailed. It has been a challenge. But not as difficult a challenge as I thought at the beginning.

Ice CreamI do really miss Ben and Jerry’s though.

However, the point of this is not about me, remember. I told you at the beginning:

My friend Irene will run her first half-marathon to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in memory Cindy Bolbach.

I have contributed to the cause. You can too.

See you along the Trail.

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Purple Flowers, Dubhlinn Gardens 2

Dubh Linn Gardens, Dublin Castle 2

While in Dublin waiting for
Roja and Joel’s wedding,
I visited Dublin Castle with
Tricia, Bruce, Nancy.

There I discovered,
artfully disguised as
miniature purple rabbits,
the guards who stand watch
over the Dubhlinn Gardens.

27 April 2012
Dubhlinn Gardens, Dublin Castle
Ireland

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Filed under Family, Friends, Ireland, Photo

Missing Clint, giving thanks

I clicked on the Facebook link to the birthdays of my friends. Usually I discover a surprise on the list as I have very few of those days memorized. Heck, I have to stop and think about the birthdays of my family. Often the surprise proves pleasant as it affords me the opportunity to remember someone.

Today’s surprise brought a Communion of Saints moment.

Clint McCoy’s name appeared. Executive for partnerships of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)’s Synod of the Northeast, Clint died suddenly on September 12, 2010 of a massive heart attack. His family has not closed his Facebook account.

A pang of grief pricked my heart. I followed the link to his page and found a number of comments by family members and friends. I remembered conversations and interactions. I smiled. And I gave thanks, grateful to have been Clint’s friend and colleague in ministry. Thanks be to God.

See you along the Trail.

 

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Studying the Stars

IMG_9912A simple star cut from paper bearing a word – received as a gift from God on Epiphany or the Sunday closest to Epiphany.

That is the essence of Epiphany Star Gifts. As far as I know, the first Presbyterian congregation to experience Epiphany Star Gifts was Carpinteria Community Church in Carpinteria, California when the Rev. Sam Roberson served as pastor. Sam and his partner, Joanne Sizoo, took the idea with them to St. Mark Church in Cincinnati. An article about Epiphany Star Gifts appeared sometime during the late 1980s in Presbyterian Survey. A number of congregations picked up the idea, including Noble Road Presbyterian Church in Cleveland Heights where my partner and I served as co-pastors.

Today, on the Feast of the Epiphany 2013, many congregations received Epiphany Star Gifts as an ongoing tradition and others received them for the first time including the Church of the Covenant in New York where I preached and the Church of the Western Reserve in Pepper Pike, Ohio where the Rev. Tricia Dykers (my partner) preached this sermon. Matthew 2:1-12 served as the text.

They were men who studied the stars, as Matthew’s Gospel tells it – alert to heavenly signs and their implications for earthly events.  They understood that something momentous was happening, something so important that in order to be part of it they would set out on a long journey into the unknown, laden with the most precious of possessions.  They sought the truth wherever it might be found, and their search brought them to an obscure house in an obscure village in an obscure country, there to worship an infant whom they knew to be king.  By their homage we know that he is king, not just of the Jews but of all the earth – he is our king.  Because of their gifts we celebrate his birth with our own giving and receiving; we celebrate his Epiphany, his manifestation to all people, by rejoicing in his manifestation in our lives.

One way that God is manifest in our lives is through the spiritual gifts bestowed upon us – gifts that make us aware of God’s presence, that enable us to participate in God’s purpose, that witness to God’s promise to love us ultimately.

When I was co-pastor at Noble Road Church, Epiphany was one of my favorite Sundays of the whole year because of a tradition that began a few years into our tenure.  The idea came from an article in the Presbyterian Survey magazine that was spotted by one of our elders – Libby Wills, who died this past summer just a few weeks before her 100th birthday; I later became friends with the pastor who initiated it in the congregation in the article.  Although as far as I know we at Noble Road were the first to adopt the practice in this presbytery, it did spread to other congregations around here.  I was pondering whether to share the tradition with you – after all,  I am not your ongoing pastor and have no idea whether you will want to continue it – but while I was wavering, I read on Facebook of how meaningful it has been to others in far-flung places, and since we have gotten to know each other this year, I thought, why not.  That these gifts may abound in your lives and in the life of this community of faith is my prayer for you going forward.

Ephiphany stars at church of the covenantHere’s how it works: When you come forward to receive communion, you will have the opportunity to pick out of a basket a paper star.  The star will have a word on it, naming a gift from God; visually, nothing special, as God’s gifts are not always flashy.  Sometimes the gift is known by all to be one that you already evidence or experience in abundance.  Sometimes you will feel that it is something you’ve needed, a challenge to work on.  Often it’s something you don’t understand, or could learn more about.  In any case, it will provide you an opportunity to ponder and pray in the coming year.  It’s suggested that you display it during the year in a place where you will see it often – in the course of my ministry I have seen them on walls and mirrors and refrigerators, and my collection is propped prominently on a bookshelf in my office.  This morning you are encouraged to attach it to your clothing, so that we can rejoice and wonder together with one another over the gifts received.  It’s been known to happen that people have had revealing insights into other people’s stars.

Sometimes people looking at one another’s stars are tempted to trade.  I encourage you to receive whatever comes, with the assumption that the Spirit of God has a hand in the process, and to remain open to surprise and mystery and whatever might happen.  Resist the urge to be in control; accept the gift for what it is, a gift freely given.  Many have discovered that the gift that seemed daunting or disappointing at first turned out to be the most meaningful in actual experience.  Perhaps God has something in store that is beyond our planning and imagining.

At Noble Road, one reason the tradition became so meaningful was that the sermon time each year after the first included time for all who wished    to share a reflection about their experiences with their stars during the year.  I remember especially the young woman, long frustrated by inability to conceive, who received “joy” on Epiphany Sunday and came the next year with her newborn in her arms.

My first gift was “contentment,” and I wrestled with it all that year.  It came at a time in my life when I was experiencing an odd combination of unusual satisfaction in some areas of my life and abnormal stress in others.  Was I too contented, or not contented enough, or should I be contented with my level of contentment?  Obviously I had reached the stage of over-analysis, at which point it is best to laugh at oneself and not worry about it.  And it was then that one of God’s most helpful epiphanies came to me – contentment is a gift, not an accomplishment.  Should have been obvious all along, right, given that I had received it as an Epiphany Star Gift, but in truth that insight was late in coming.  Contentment is a gift, not an accomplishment – what a liberating reality!

Another very meaningful gift was “laughter” – when it came to me, I wondered – is that a promise, or a challenge?  Then just a few weeks after receiving it, I experienced perhaps the most traumatic event of my life, an assault while out walking.  In addition, my family in Virginia and friends from my previous congregation in Iowa experienced a series of trials that made that year one we were glad to be rid of.  And yet, it was not uniformly bleak – there were many joys, not least the love and support received as we dealt with the sorrows.  I thought about the gift of laughter, rather a bittersweet gift as it turned out; but then, perhaps I should have known that, as evidenced in phrases like “it only hurts when I laugh,” and “we laughed until we cried.”   There is a connection between laughter and tears that is more than physiological.  What I learned was that the gift of laughter is the gift of perspective – of realizing that God gives joy in the midst of great sorrow, that indeed there is no sorrow that can overcome the joy of knowing God’s love.  To laugh in the gifted sense is to keep one’s perspective, to find the joy in sorrow’s midst.  It is a gift I will always treasure.

It would take me much too long to recount all the Epiphany Star Gifts I have received over the years, and all the comfort, challenge, promise and growth they have blessed me with.  There is an element of demand in every gift, an aspect of challenge – what will you do with it? – but the fundamental reality of gift is that it is freely given, and must first be received, then appreciated, if it is truly to be yours.  If you receive the gift, the challenge implicit in it can then be experienced as an opportunity rather than an obligation, as an invitation rather than an imperative.

I hope that you will experience your Epiphany Star as a gift that blesses you in 2013.  If it’s meaningful, perhaps next year you will want to share that in worship and receive another star, though there’s no rule against sharing your reflections anytime during the year.  Every spiritual gift is a particular aspect of God’s freely given love, that you might know God’s love concretely and live out God’s love in the other relationships of your lives.  God wants to bless you – receive the gift!  Amen.

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Filed under Family, Friends, Worship

A time to choose

Challenges and opportunities mingle
as I ponder an invitation for
new behavior
new patterns
new living
into the new year.

Daunted, intimidated on the one hand,
intrigued, inspired on the other,
I weigh options,
and consider possibilities,
knowing that each direction chosen
precludes other directions.

I wonder.
I wonder.
I wonder.

See you along the Trail.

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It is a wonderful life

IAWL pictureA Christmas tradition took place today – a viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life. I don’t remember when I first watched it, but I try to see it at least once each year.

At some point, we taped a television broadcast of it. When we wore out the tape a couple years back, we purchased a DVD.

Recognizing the unabashed sentimentality of the film, I still find something each time I view it. I do not pretend my insights are profound or unique or creative or new. They simply are what I take away from that particular viewing.

Today’s message: friends and family make life wonderful. Whatever else life may bring, the people in our lives – the people in my life – matter immensely.

This post is thus a way to say thank you to my family and friends! It is a blessing to share this wonderful life with you. I hope you realize how grateful I am.

See you along the Trail.

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The quest for coffee

After a bit of a challenge, I made it to Cleveland to celebrate Christmas with family and friends.

Today brought a meeting with my friends, Isaac, John and Frances to talk about the progress of, and the vision for, the Dougbe River Presbyterian School in Liberia. Isaac had the vision and the people of the area, supported by the saints of Noble Road Presbyterian Church and partners in Cleveland and in Liberia, have made it happen.

The school opened at the end of November. Thanks be.

We gathered to talk about what comes next – more students, farming to feed the students, further partnerships, community building, capacity nurturing, more schools in other places. The vision is far reaching. The steps will come one at a time.

We planned to meet over breakfast and coffee. That proved a bit of a challenge. The first two places we visited were closed. Finally, we decided to check out Cafe-Ah-Roma next to Trinity Cathedral.

CoffeeTheir sign extended a warm greeting.

And the coffee and breakfast tasted good!

See you along the Trail.

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The trip not taken part 2

As I suspected yesterday, the piece of paper I was given at the airport did not prove helpful.

At the appointed hour, I attempted to obtain a boarding pass for the flight upon which the piece of paper proclaimed I had a seat.

I did not. My reservation did not show up in the system.

From calling the help desk, I learned that I would be called back in between 28 and 37 minutes.

The call actually came at reasonably close to the 37 minute mark.

But the agent told me that my ticket was cancelled. The frequent flyer miles had been returned to my account.

After several minutes of ranting, I said, “Let’s put aside what happened and why. How can you get me to Cleveland and when?”

No flights were available today. But I was told – and received an email to the effect – that I am on a flight tomorrow.

I prepared to go somewhere for dinner. Before I left, Ryan contacted me and we went and had coffee. Then DeLaina called and we went for dinner. A good evening followed a travel-challenged day.

Now I wait. At 10:50 tomorrow morning I will put this most recent information to the test and see if I can at least print a boarding pass.

See you along the Trail.

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Filed under Friends, New York, Travel

Timeline of a trip not taken

Thursday 20 December 2013

16:41 – I received an email from Delta telling me that my flight for 21 December has been cancelled. They are working to rebook my flight. I did some shopping and called Tricia to inform her of the situation. Then I returned to the Shire on the Hudson.

17:34 – I called the number on the email from Delta. The automated answering system tells me that I will be added to their system. I can hang up and they will call me back within a period ranging from 1 hour and 5 minutes to 1 hour and 31 minutes. I confirm my phone number and name and hang up.

17:46 – I received an email from Delta telling me they have rebooked my flight for 13:40 on 21 December.

22:02 – Between 1 hour and 5 minutes and 1 hour and 31 minutes having elapsed since 17:34, Delta calls me back as promised. Their agent confirms that I have been rebooked for 21 December.

Friday 21 December 2013

11:15 – I attempted to check in for the flight to which I have been rebooked. I received a message that no such reservation exists. Concern begins to flicker oh so slighty.

11:29 – I headed for a cab to LGA.

12:02 – The cab arrived at LGA, Delta Terminal.

12:03 – I noticed that the lines are long. Quite long.

12: 05 – My effort to serve myself at the self-service kiosk failed. The lines  increased in length.

12:06 – I moved to the incredibly long special services line. I texted Tricia that the situation appeared somewhat sketchy.

12:25 – Delta brought out snacks – a very, very bad sign based on my travel experience.

12:40 – I made my way to the counter and Gate Agent #1.

12:41 – Gate Agent #1 observed that my reservation was not in the computer. I showed the email.

12:57 – After much typing, more sighing, a conversation with a Supervisor, Gate Agent #1 told me to go stand in another line. Feeling a bit like Arlo, I complied.

12:58 – I arrived in the other line.

12:59 – I called Tricia to inform her of the situation and to have her look for alternative modes of travel online. She did.

13:11 – I approached the counter; Tricia left to pick up one of our sons. We hung up.

13:13 – Gate Agent #2 said, “We have no record of your reservation.”

13:13.30 – I began to realized that the word “rebooked” apparently does not mean the same thing to Delta that it does to me.

13:14 – I showed the email.

13:15 – Gate Agent #2 made phone call #1.

13:16 – Towanda and I connected via text. She helped keep me entertained and calm, plus the shopping experiences that she and Jess were having helped me realize there are worse things in life than where I am.

13:27 – Gate Agent #2 actually talked to someone.

13:27.38 – Gate Agent #2 hung up phone and made phone call #2.

13: 35 – Gate Agent #3 came over and worked the computer and reached a profound conclusion that I had never heard before. “We have no record of your reservation.”

13.35.12 – Gate Agent #2 said, “We emailed him.”

13:36 – Word were exchanged. Gate Agent #2 handed phone to Gate Agent #3 and walked away.

13:39 – Gate Agent #3 asked, “Could you fly tomorrow.”

13:39.10 – I replied, “The first agent said there were no flights.”

13:40 – Gate Agent #3 said, “What about 7:30?”

13:40.02 – Showing remarkable calm under the circumstances, I asked, “In the morning.”

13:40. 12 – “No, at night,” replied Gate Agent #3.

13.40. 16 – “Is that all there is?” I responded. “Nothing earlier?” I was pressing my luck, there could have been an early morning flight.

13.41 – “How about 4:30?” asked Gate Agent #3.

13.41.03 – “Good,” I said.

13.42 – While holding it, I called Tricia to tell her I have apiece of paper that says I have a reservation and a seat on a flight tomorrow at 16:30 from JFK to CLE.

Three observations – one for each Gate Agent (kind of a Magi moment now that I think about it):

1. I am not sure why a piece of paper that says I have a reservation and a seat is that much more better than an email saying I have a reservation and a seat. It doesn’t make me feel more secure.

2. At 16:31, I am going to attempt to print out my boarding pass. We will see if that happens. But even if it does, I will not feel more secure.

3, This really does not amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. But at the same time, I did not get on the plane. And I regret it. And I do that now.

I will keep you posted about what happens tomorrow.

See you along the Trail.

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