Tag Archives: grief

Paul Daubenspeck, Jr.

PaulDaubenspeck

Paul Daubenspeck, Jr.
November 29, 1926 – January 11, 2020

Written on behalf of his stepchildren for his memorial service.

 

 

We give thanks to God for the life and love and faith of Paul Daubenspeck.

We give thanks for his service to our country. When the call came to go, Paul responded.

We give thanks for his work ethic. He worked long and he worked well.

We give thanks for his love for his family, for the years shared with Esther, for the experiences shared with Larry and Paula and their families.

We give thanks for his marriage to our mother. For more than 40 years they shared life. That could not always have been easy.

We give thanks for his willingness to share his knowledge. Whenever we had a question about cars or home repairs, we did not use Google. We called Paul.

We give thanks for his volunteer work. He did so much for so many; building homes and baking cookies stand out.

We give thanks that he freely shared his recipe for grilled venison.

We give thanks that he was a great grandfather. A great-grandfather by blood. And a great grandfather through the love and support provided to his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

We give thanks for his deep faith. He participated fully in the life of the church and served as an elder. Mark remains ever grateful that Paul participated in his ordination.

We give thanks for times of grace and joy, and yes, even for moments of challenge.

We give thanks for memories that live close to the surface and wash over us with warmth and for memories that will arise in days to come.

We give thanks to God for the life and love and faith of Paul Daubenspeck.

Mark Koenig
Paul Koenig
Patty Kelly

Leave a comment

Filed under Family

Back again

Each new grief
snags every old grief,
long-buried emotional landmine
which, when tripped,
bring old pain
freshly back again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Friends

January

Some will know,
others will wonder,
why every year
I am so glad to see
January go.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family

Death comes

Death comes
Grief rages
Life continues

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Friends, Six Word Story

A friend I am thankful for

Friends2

The last time I saw Ted Hickman.
A reminder of friendship and love.
A reminder that there are ends in life.

Traci Smith, author of Faithful Families: Creating Sacred Moments at Home has provided a gift of the November 2018 Gratitude Every Day calendar. I am using it as an opportuity to revisit photos and post them as they speak to gratitude.

Leave a comment

Filed under Friends, New York

Always smiles

photo (57)It rolls around again today as it does every year. Anniversaries have a way of doing that.

Some years it almost sneaks up on me and grabs me unaware. As if I could forget. As if I would forget if I could.

Other years, like this year, memories of the day enter my  consciousness well in advance. I have to consult the calendar to verify the date.

The pain has lessened some over the years. The empty, heartache remains.

Forty-two years ago today, my father died. A private pilot, he and another administrator were flying to Harrisburg to advocate for funding for the local school system.

Though they had tickets on a commercial airline, they decided that my father would fly. The plane went down near Emlenton, Pennsylvania, the crash site only located the next day. When I arrived at JFK a day later, after a college choir trip to Europe, family members met me and broke the news and shattered my heart.

Because grief lasts, I raise a glass to remember loses and acknowledge pains. And because love never ends, I raise a glass to give thanks and to celebrate love shared past, present, and future.  On this anniversary, I raise a glass to William Koenig, to his life, to the time, the far too short time, we shared. To music made well and badly. To tears and a multitude of remembered smiles. For some years there are tears, but always there are smiles.

Goodnight and joy be with you, Dad.

Goodnight and joy be with us all.

See you along the Trail.

2 Comments

Filed under Family

Until we meet again, Ted Hickman

14316837_10209909925482586_6630254089391490747_nOnly 17 short days ago they gathered to bid me farewell. My colleagues and friends from the community of nongovernmental organizations at the United Nations; my friends and colleagues from the Presbytery of New York City.

Ted was there. And after the words were spoken and the time came for people to leave, Ted and I looked at each other across the room.

We smiled. We moved toward one another. And as we had done before, threw open our arms and walked into an embrace, two bears seeking to engulf each other.

He whispered into my ear. Words of thanks. Assurances of prayers. Best wishes for what lay ahead.

I whispered back. Words of thanks. Assurances of prayers. Best wishes for what lay ahead.

As we disengaged, I said my final words. I refused to say goodbye as I left New York. And so I said to Ted, “Until we meet again.”

Only two short hours ago I received the email from the office of the Presbytery of New York City.

“In Memoriam” read the subject line. I had received enough emails with that subject to know what it meant. Someone had died.

I was prepared to learn of a death. I was not prepared to see Ted’s gracious, smiling face. Nor did I expect to read these words:

It is with deep sadness and grief for his family and this presbytery that I tell you that Theodore (Ted) Hickman, the Moderator of our Presbytery of New York City, died last night in his sleep.

Ted was 51.

My initial shock has given way to deep sadness and grief.

I grieve for his family … for Duryea Presbyterian Church where he served as the Commissioned Ruling Elder (pastor) … for his colleagues at NYU-Langone Medical Center … for the Presbytery of New York City … for all who knew and loved this good man.

I grieve for a song and life ended too soon. Too soon.

I grieve for what might have been.

I grieve for myself.

I grieve, knowing that, in life and in death, Ted, and all of us belong to God.

I grieve, knowing that love never ends, even death can never sever the cords of love that bind us together.

I grieve, believing in the resurrection.

I grieve and proclaim “Alleluia.”

I grieve and remember those final words I said:

Until we meet again,
my friend, my brother.
Until we meet again.

Note: the photo of Ted Hickman is the one that appeared in the message from the Presbytery of New York that announced his death. 

4 Comments

Filed under New York, Photo