Category Archives: Friends

The kindness of friends

The last two days provided a reminder of the importance of a network of friends.

The lesson began Friday morning. I had traveled to Louisville for a week of staff meetings. Friday’s involved all the staff members of the Presbyterian Mission Agency.

Worship opened the day. A celebration of the year’s highlights followed. Then came the recognition of our colleagues for years of service.

This played out against a weather forecast that as early as Wednesday called for bad weather. Some staff members from out of town chose to change their airline tickets early Friday morning. I did not.

The weather warnings continued as the day progressed. During the first workshop, leadership made the decision. We heard the announcement that the staff day was suspended. We could leave. The building would close at 3:00.

After one last conversation and a quick lunch, I tried to change my flight. It proved a fruitless endeavor. I decided to go to the airport and see what happened there.

I arranged to stay with Sara and John Lisherness if I could not leave. Ryan Smith took me to the airport. Some ice had accumulated. A cold icy, rain fell.

I checked in my flight. The weather deteriorated. Flights were cancelled. Snow began. Around 2:30, my plane was cancelled.

I booked a flight for today and then took a cab to John and Sara’s house where I spent a pleasant evening. As the snow piled up, the driver made his way to Willow. He even made it up the hill from Eastern Parkway. “Up the hill?” he asked. “Up the hill, sir,” I replied.

This morning, at 9:30 AM, John took me to the airport for a day’s travel adventure that ended around 8:00 PM.

Tricia began the trek from Cleveland to the Shire even earlier. She had an uneventful day, arriving at the Shire about 10:00 AM.

That is when her adventure began. The key I gave her would not work the lock. After numerous tries, she went to Max Caffe where she hung out for a while. When that got old, she came and sat in the lobby.

Ryan observed her plight on Facebook. He called James Porter. Tricia and James talked and made arrangements for him to meet her with a key. About 7:30, Tricia entered the Shire. I got in shortly thereafter.

An interesting day. A day of minor inconveniences. A day to remember our privileges. A day to give thanks for friends: Sara and John, Ryan and James. It is a blessing to have a community.

JulesJules offered amazing support as well while I was stuck in Louisville.

Of course he may have wanted my pizza.

See you along the Trail.

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Vegetarian stuffing

That’s vegetarian stuffing.

I heard the words over the soft, smooshing plop the big scoop of stuffing made as it landed on my plate.

That’s vegetarian stuffing.

That certainly explained all the green stuff among the bread.

That’s vegetarian stuffing. The two over here are oyster.

Vegetarian stuffing? As in filled with vegetables. With no oysters. My mind spun quickly as I pondered my options.

“Vegetarian?” I said.

Vegetarian. And oyster over here.

“Really? Vegetarian?”

Really. You look like it does not excite you.

I recalled a moment at a buffet involving a friend of my grandmother, pickled pig’s feet placed unwanted on a plate, and a subtle return to the buffet table to replace them in the serving dish.

“It would not be my first choice. Especially with the oyster option,” I moved the plate toward the pan as I spoke.

Go ahead. You can put it back.

I quickly scrapped the vegetarian stuffing back into the pan. And even more quickly moved to the oyster stuffing and filled the now empty spot on my plate.

As I did, a new definition flitted across my mind:

Home is where you can put the food back with everyone watching and no one will criticize you.

Silently giving thanks for having options in a world where so many do not, I went in search of more food. As I did, I heard the repeated explanation:

That’s vegetarian stuffing.

See you along the Trail.

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Filed under Family, Food, Friends

After the fall

Fire races
from his hip to his knee;
his shoulder
stiffens and throbs;
yet both pains,
all pains,
pale against
the strangling grief
that crushes
life and joy
from his heart.

3:10 AM
23 November 2013
Shire on the Hudson
Manhattan, New York

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Filed under Friends, New York, Poem

Remembering Annie Rawlings

The word first came in a simple text from a friend. The precise words have already faded from memory, but their essence remains: “Annie Rawlings died.”

I could not believe it. I tried to deny it. I searched Facebook and other social media looking for something, anything, I don’t know what, to demonstrate that the news was false.

But it was not. Through electronic media and phone calls the confirmation arrived.

Annie Rawlings –
woman of deep faith,
daughter,
sister,
sister-in-law,
aunt,
niece,
cousin,

Annie Rawlings –
maker of peace,
welcomer of new neighbors,
community member,
strategic thinker,
seeker of justice,
builder of coalitions,
pursuer of truth,
builder of bridges,

Annie Rawlings –
ally of those living in poverty,
feeder of the hungry,
challenger of the systems,
clother of the naked,
houser of the homeless,
community organizer,
interfaith advocate,
child of Cleveland,
New Yorker,
citizen of the world,
glocal disciple,

Annie Rawlings –
trusted friend,
valued colleague,

Annie Rawlings –
lover of life,
liver of life,

Annie Rawlings was dead.

Annie died, unexpectedly, on November 2 after snorkeling in Cancun, Mexico where she had gone on vacation.

Annie threw herself into life with a zest and a passion. She lived boldly, bravely, fully. Annie made the most of her life.

Now Annie is dead. The world seems a bit more empty, a tad colder. Annie is dead and with so many others, I grieve.

I grieve for the pain and heartache that her parents and family suffer – pain and heartache that I can only imagine. I grieve for the empty seat at the table, the empty chair in the office, the empty place in the circle. I grieve for a life that ended too soon. I grieve for what might have been.

Yet as I grieve, I give thanks.

I give thanks for Annie’s faith and love. I give thanks for Annie’s living and witness. I give thanks for the lives that God touched through Annie. I give thanks that her memory shines. I give thanks that, while no one will ever, ever replace Annie, others will step up, have already stepped up, to carry on the pursuit of justice and peace to which she gave her life.

I give thanks because even in the face of the sudden death of one so young and vital as Annie, there is love and there is grace and there is God. All will be well for Annie. All will be well for her parents, Chuck and Joan. All will be well for her family and her friends. It may not seem that way now. It may not seem that way any time soon, but all will be well. There will be tears and heartache and great struggle, but all will be well. Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia.

If you have ever read my blog, you know my closing line is: See you along the Trail. Tonight, I am going to give the final word to Annie’s favorite singer. Bruce Springsteen expresses a similar sentiment when he writes;

Further on up the road
Further on up the road
Where the way is dark and the night is cold
One sunny mornin’ we’ll rise I know
And I’ll meet you further on up the road.

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Daddy Don’t Go – you can help make it happen!

Daddy Don’t Go is a documentary that chronicles the lives of 4 young men in NYC who are trying to be good dads against the odds. You can help make this documentary happen through Kickstarter.

Here’s the scoop on the film:

Daddy Don’t Go is a feature length documentary that captures a year in the lives of four young men in New York City as they struggle against poverty to reach their full potential as fathers. The film poses urgent questions that expand the ongoing national dialogue concerning fatherhood. Can a man be a good dad in spite of not being a great provider? How does being a father shift a man’s identity? In true vérité style, Daddy Don’t Go will capture the crucial, intimate father-child relationship over time and without censorship. Alex, Nelson, Omar and Roy shatter the deadbeat dad stereotype, redefining what it means to be a good father for all men.

You can help make this documentary happen through Kickstarter.

Here’s the trailer:

You can help make this documentary happen through Kickstarter.

Here’s my connection to the project:

My friend Andrew Osborne is a co-director. Andrew and I met some ten years ago at a Presbyterian Peacemaking Program conference. Andrew worked the tech for the conference. I provided much of the content that he projected. Truth be told, our relationship got off to a rocky start. I asked for presentations that stretched the capacity of our equipment. When things did not go easily, I stormed off. Upon my return, I discovered that Andrew had patiently and carefully worked through things and a beautiful friendship began. We have nurtured the friendship since. We worked a couple more Peacemaking Conferences together and we made a video for the Peacemaking Program’s twenty-fifth anniversary. Over the past couple years, Andrew has helped with several video or photographic projects for the Presbyterian Ministry at the United Nations. He has done so professionally and well. I believe in Andrew and his work. I am proud to support Daddy Don’t Go.

You too can help make this documentary happen through Kickstarter.

See you along the Trail.

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Filed under Friends, Movie, Presbyterian Ministry at the United Nations

12 Corners

I wrote my first Yelp review today. I know I should have written reviews in the past, but they never happened. For some reason, today’s came out.

12 CornersA friend and I planned to meet for coffee. She asked if I minded coming downtown and suggested a couple options.

I chose 12 Corners and am glad I did.

I was a first time customer. My friend has a frequent caffeinater card. It is clear why.

The coffee is great. I need to learn if it is fair trade.

The blackberry bran muffin was amazing.

But what really set 12 Corners apart for me was the service. The friendly staff treated everyone with kindness and went out of their way to create an atmosphere of hospitality and welcome.

A good day. I will be back.

See you along the Trail.

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Filed under Food, Friends, New York

Standing and sitting in the rain for justice

My friend Tim Luttermoser wrote this. He granted permission to post his words and photo.

TimHey Francis,

The past few days on campus, a conservative preacher (Tom the Preacher, you can google him) has been on campus doing… well, the typical conservative preacher things. But with larger displays and more professionally, unfortunately. Over the last two days I designed a poster (you can see it, sort of, in my profile picture) of welcoming congregations in the area, including Episcopals, Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians (I’m happy to say), UUs, and a Reform Judaism temple, and today I stood across the way from their display for several hours, providing people with an alternative perspective and reminding them that this wasn’t the only face of Christianity or religion in general. I’m happy to say that, for the most part, Tom and Grace Campus Ministry (which invited him to campus) left me alone when I made it clear I was not interested in engaging.

I’m telling you all this because, if you have a minute on Sunday, I’d like you to pass along my thanks to Noble Road Presbyterian Church for me. I can say with confidence that being raised in that particular community has shaped me into who I am today, and I am grateful for the influence. Even as I’ve personally moved on to other religious and spiritual traditions, I always remember the loving and welcoming community of Noble Road, and when faced with hatred and bigotry, I can always draw on my history there and be reminded that there are wonderful religious communities with better approaches. Noble Road did a fantastic job modeling not only acceptance of LGBTQ people, but actively fighting for them, particularly within the religious community, a fight I still consider absolutely essential. While I’m fairly confident I would be supportive of LGBTQ people regardless of where I grew up, I know that growing up in NRPC specifically was what gave me the energy and the passion to contact these congregations, create this display, and stand through the two brief rainstorms to keep making my point all afternoon.

Thank you for all you have done and continue to do, both you in particular and NRPC as a whole.

Mark Koenig and Tricia Dykers Koenig – this thanks LARGELY goes to you as well, don’t forget.

Francis Miller, to whom Tim wrote, is currently the pastor at Noble Road Presbyterian Church. Tim lived in South Euclid and attended the church before he went to school. Tricia and I were co-pastors there at the time.

See you along the Trail.

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Ecclesio.com and Grace Ji-Sun Kim in conversation

The blog Ecclesio.com has featured Grace Ji-Sun Kim  and her book, Colonialism, Han and the Transformative Spirit this week.

The series features an excerpt from her book that focused on Consumerism and Overconsumption.

Related posts include a brief review of Colonialism, Han and the Transformative Spirit by Cynthia Holder Rich of Ecclesio.com and two conversations between Cynthia and Grace:

A Conversation with Grace Ji-Sun Kim, Part I

A Conversation with Grace Ji-Sun Kim, Part II

Lots of good stuff here. Thanks to Cynthia and Grace for this series!

See you along the Trail.

 

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Filed under Books, Friends

Today, my friend

Today,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Peace,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Rest,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Strength,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Hope,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Courage,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Justice,
my friend,
I pray for you.

This day,
my friend,
I pray for you.

Always,
my friend,
I pray for you.

14 September 2013
Shire on the Hudson

Slightly different versions of this prayer-poem came out today for friends in different difficult situations.

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Hug longer

Yesterday the community gathered to celebrate the life of the Rev. Bert Tom. A number of my friends attended. Being on the opposite coast, I did not. 

Bert TomI knew Bert. My friends knew him better. But our paths crossed from time to time.

At the time of Bert’s death, my friend Laura Mariko Cheifetz wrote about Bert and Satoru Nishita, her grandfather who died at about the same time. Her reflections led me to ponder what I had learned from my mentors and family members.

My friend, and another person mentored by Bert, Irene Pak (she blogs at Abiding in Hope) attended the celebration of Bert’s life. She reflects on the celebration in a post from today. It is a warm, touching reflection about what Bert meant to her and to so many. 

Irene frames her thoughts around her last meeting with Bert. A sentence near the end jumped out at me:

I wish I would have known that was going to be the last time I saw you–I probably would have hugged you longer.

Of course we rarely know when the last time we see anyone else will be. I have known with certainty on a few occasions. Sometimes I have had a pretty good idea because of the health of the other person. But over the past week, I have recalled  how fragile life is and how quickly it can end – by illness or by accident or by factors unseen. Quickly let me add that no one died. But events of the week reinforced that lesson.

Not knowing makes Irene’s invitation and challenge more poignant and profound. It also makes it more relevant in every relationship. In response to Irene, it seems that we would do well to ponder if, at all times and all places, we should:

  • hug our family, friends, and mentors longer (or at all in the case of any non-huggers out there – not sure who that might be)’
  • enjoy our family, friends, and mentors  more fully;
  • listen to our family, friends, and mentors more carefully;
  • tell our family, friends, and mentors what they mean to us more regularly; and
  • make time for family, friends, and mentors more often.

Will I?

See you along the Trail.

The photo is shared with permission from Abiding in Hope by Irene Pak.

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