Category Archives: Family

December 12, 2013 · 8:22 am

Advent 12: Hope

Toasting Cindy

I have resisted including explanations with my posts in the Advent-photo-a-day. This one is different. It calls for some words.

One year ago, December 12, 2012, Cindy Bolbach, moderator of the 219th General Assembly (2010) of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), died.

In the sure and certain hope of the resurrection, I posted an invitation to my friends to pause wherever they were and lift a toast in thanks for the life and witness of Cindy Bolbach at 20:10 that evening. Many people participated. My son Sean joined me at a spot off Times Square where we took this photo.

The hope we celebrated one year ago holds Cindy and all of us still. Thanks be to God. Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia.

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December 7, 2013 · 11:01 pm

The kindness of friends

The last two days provided a reminder of the importance of a network of friends.

The lesson began Friday morning. I had traveled to Louisville for a week of staff meetings. Friday’s involved all the staff members of the Presbyterian Mission Agency.

Worship opened the day. A celebration of the year’s highlights followed. Then came the recognition of our colleagues for years of service.

This played out against a weather forecast that as early as Wednesday called for bad weather. Some staff members from out of town chose to change their airline tickets early Friday morning. I did not.

The weather warnings continued as the day progressed. During the first workshop, leadership made the decision. We heard the announcement that the staff day was suspended. We could leave. The building would close at 3:00.

After one last conversation and a quick lunch, I tried to change my flight. It proved a fruitless endeavor. I decided to go to the airport and see what happened there.

I arranged to stay with Sara and John Lisherness if I could not leave. Ryan Smith took me to the airport. Some ice had accumulated. A cold icy, rain fell.

I checked in my flight. The weather deteriorated. Flights were cancelled. Snow began. Around 2:30, my plane was cancelled.

I booked a flight for today and then took a cab to John and Sara’s house where I spent a pleasant evening. As the snow piled up, the driver made his way to Willow. He even made it up the hill from Eastern Parkway. “Up the hill?” he asked. “Up the hill, sir,” I replied.

This morning, at 9:30 AM, John took me to the airport for a day’s travel adventure that ended around 8:00 PM.

Tricia began the trek from Cleveland to the Shire even earlier. She had an uneventful day, arriving at the Shire about 10:00 AM.

That is when her adventure began. The key I gave her would not work the lock. After numerous tries, she went to Max Caffe where she hung out for a while. When that got old, she came and sat in the lobby.

Ryan observed her plight on Facebook. He called James Porter. Tricia and James talked and made arrangements for him to meet her with a key. About 7:30, Tricia entered the Shire. I got in shortly thereafter.

An interesting day. A day of minor inconveniences. A day to remember our privileges. A day to give thanks for friends: Sara and John, Ryan and James. It is a blessing to have a community.

JulesJules offered amazing support as well while I was stuck in Louisville.

Of course he may have wanted my pizza.

See you along the Trail.

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November 29, 2013 · 8:24 pm

Vegetarian stuffing

That’s vegetarian stuffing.

I heard the words over the soft, smooshing plop the big scoop of stuffing made as it landed on my plate.

That’s vegetarian stuffing.

That certainly explained all the green stuff among the bread.

That’s vegetarian stuffing. The two over here are oyster.

Vegetarian stuffing? As in filled with vegetables. With no oysters. My mind spun quickly as I pondered my options.

“Vegetarian?” I said.

Vegetarian. And oyster over here.

“Really? Vegetarian?”

Really. You look like it does not excite you.

I recalled a moment at a buffet involving a friend of my grandmother, pickled pig’s feet placed unwanted on a plate, and a subtle return to the buffet table to replace them in the serving dish.

“It would not be my first choice. Especially with the oyster option,” I moved the plate toward the pan as I spoke.

Go ahead. You can put it back.

I quickly scrapped the vegetarian stuffing back into the pan. And even more quickly moved to the oyster stuffing and filled the now empty spot on my plate.

As I did, a new definition flitted across my mind:

Home is where you can put the food back with everyone watching and no one will criticize you.

Silently giving thanks for having options in a world where so many do not, I went in search of more food. As I did, I heard the repeated explanation:

That’s vegetarian stuffing.

See you along the Trail.

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November 19, 2013 · 11:26 pm

Why I like New York 35: the New York Pass

New York PassThis post is way overdue.

Last Thanksgiving, Tricia came to New York. Eric could not leave Austin where he served as a Young Adult Volunteer. With Sean and I both living in New York, it made sense for Tricia to come here.

We had a great time. We ate too much and we saw a number of sites. Tricia said she needed to come back when she could stay longer.

I pondered that and did some research and consulted Sean. Then I purchased two 7-Day New York Passes for Christmas.

The New York Pass is a ‘smart card’ – like a credit card with a computer chip inside – which allows you completely cash free entry to over 80 New York tourist attractions. It’s a bit like an ‘all you can eat’ buffet – once you’ve bought your New York Pass you don’t have to pay to get into any of the attractions covered by the pass and the more sites you see, the more money you save.

At some locations, often the busiest attractions, the New York Pass allows you to skip the lines.

Tricia returned to New York in June and we used the pass. It worked perfectly. We had a wonderful time. We went to the places one would expect – the Circle Cruise, the Empire State Building, and the Top of the Rock. We went to new places – the Brooklyn Museum and the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. We went to places that I might never have gone – MoMA and the Metroplitan Museum of Art. We toured DUMBO and Central Park. We ran ourselves ragged and truly enjoyed this amazing city.

Whether you live in New York and need to see the sites or whether you come to New York to visit, I recommend you use the New York Pass. It is good stuff.

See you along the Trail.

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November 12, 2013 · 9:34 pm

The burden of the living

One last time I straightened my tie.
Unable to forestall the inevitable,
I donned my coat, picked up
the burden of the living
and left my apartment.

Into the cold, grey New York day
I walked to Broadway and turned
toward Union Seminary bearing
the burden of the living
to the scheduled service.

A cab pulled up as I crossed the street,
I noticed others walking – some I knew,
some I did not – all carrying
the burden of the living,
the weight slowing their steps

From east and west, north and south,
many faiths and colors we gathered
in the chapel accompanied by
the burden of the living
held in common, yet unique.

Strains of Springsteen greeted us.
Hearts ached, tears flowed,
as in a fog, shrouded by
the burden of the living
we remembered, sang and prayed.

Parents, siblings, colleagues, friends
we filled that sacred space
and, for a brief, precious time, found
the burden of the living
lessened for being shared.

Songs sung, prayers prayed, after
one last hug, one last, cold tear, we go
into the evening accompanied by
the burden of the living,
giving thanks for Annie Rawlings’ life.

With thanks to my friend Yena Hwang for the image
Shire on the Hudson
Manhattan, New York
12 November 2013

 

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October 14, 2013 · 12:46 am

Living the past in the present

Fifty-eight years ago, on Thursday, October 13, 1960, my father took a day off and took me out of my first-grade class.

From Neville Island we journeyed to Forbes Field in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood.

There we watched the Pittsburgh Pirates take on the New York Yankees in Game 7 of that year’s World Series (an interesting name now, but even more so at that time when all the teams vying for the title were located in the United States).

The heavily favored Yankees had won 10 pennants in 12 years. They won three games in this series: 16-3, 10-0, and 12-0. The Pirates won the other three games by much closer scores: 6-4, 3-2, and 5-2.

Game 7 proved  a classic. The Pirates took the lead. The Yankees came back and went ahead. The Pirates regained the lead in the bottom of the eighth inning. The Yankees tied it in the ninth.

Bill Mazeroski led off the bottom of the ninth inning for the Pirates. He took the first pitch for a ball. Then he drove the second pitch over the left-field wall. And the Pirates were the champions.

How much do I remember because I saw the game in person? How much do I remember because I have seen the pictures and the film and heard the stories? I will never know.

On the anniversary of the game, Pirates fans gather in Pittsburgh to relieve, remember, and recreate.

In 2009, a kinescope of the telecast was discovered in Bing Crosby’s wine cellar. Crosby owned a portion of the Pirates. A DVD appeared with the game. Tricia gave me a copy as a gift.

Tonight I celebrated the past in the present as on the anniversary, I watched the game all the way until, “There’s a drive into deep left field, look out now… that ball is going, going gone! And the World Series is over! Mazeroski… hits it over the left field fence, and the Pirates win it 10–9 and win the World Series!” Mel Allen on NBC TV

And I remembered my father. And my spirit warmed. And the smile has not left my face or my heart.

See you along the Trail.

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September 1, 2013 · 10:35 pm

Hug longer

Yesterday the community gathered to celebrate the life of the Rev. Bert Tom. A number of my friends attended. Being on the opposite coast, I did not. 

Bert TomI knew Bert. My friends knew him better. But our paths crossed from time to time.

At the time of Bert’s death, my friend Laura Mariko Cheifetz wrote about Bert and Satoru Nishita, her grandfather who died at about the same time. Her reflections led me to ponder what I had learned from my mentors and family members.

My friend, and another person mentored by Bert, Irene Pak (she blogs at Abiding in Hope) attended the celebration of Bert’s life. She reflects on the celebration in a post from today. It is a warm, touching reflection about what Bert meant to her and to so many. 

Irene frames her thoughts around her last meeting with Bert. A sentence near the end jumped out at me:

I wish I would have known that was going to be the last time I saw you–I probably would have hugged you longer.

Of course we rarely know when the last time we see anyone else will be. I have known with certainty on a few occasions. Sometimes I have had a pretty good idea because of the health of the other person. But over the past week, I have recalled  how fragile life is and how quickly it can end – by illness or by accident or by factors unseen. Quickly let me add that no one died. But events of the week reinforced that lesson.

Not knowing makes Irene’s invitation and challenge more poignant and profound. It also makes it more relevant in every relationship. In response to Irene, it seems that we would do well to ponder if, at all times and all places, we should:

  • hug our family, friends, and mentors longer (or at all in the case of any non-huggers out there – not sure who that might be)’
  • enjoy our family, friends, and mentors  more fully;
  • listen to our family, friends, and mentors more carefully;
  • tell our family, friends, and mentors what they mean to us more regularly; and
  • make time for family, friends, and mentors more often.

Will I?

See you along the Trail.

The photo is shared with permission from Abiding in Hope by Irene Pak.

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August 31, 2013 · 8:14 pm

Once and done, probably

Thanks to Tricia for reminding me of two more parks.

It never reached the status of my bucket list. But I live in New York. It seemed something I should do. Once. Just so I could say I had done it.

IMG_1191 (800x420)Today, it happened. Eric and DeLaina went with me and I watched my first, and probably only game – that may change should the Pirates play the Yankees some day, in Yankee Stadium. It is not the House That Ruth Built. But it is the House That Those Who Followed in Ruth’s Footsteps Built.

It is a good stadium. We sat in the right-field, lower grandstand. Good seats except when the ball was hit to deep right. The Show does have lefties who pull. They hit to right fairly often.

We all wanted to see Mariano Rivera pitch since this is his last season. But it was not to be. Ivan Nova threw a three-hit complete game shutout. That wasn’t bad to see.

Great company. Baseball. A historic franchise. Good times!

As I surveyed the stadium, I found myself wondering about the places where I have seen baseball. I start with Pittsburgh stadiums. Then I move to other teams in no particular order.

Pittsburgh – Forbes Field
Pittsburgh – Three Rivers Stadium
Pittsburgh – PNC Park
Philadelphia – Connie Mack Stadium
St. Louis – Busch Memorial Stadium
Chicago – Wrigley Field
Chicago – Comisky Park
Denver – Coors Field
Houston – Astrodome
New York – Yankee Stadium
Kansas City – Royals Stadium (as it was called at the time)
Cleveland – Cleveland Municipal Stadium (but never to the new stadium until the team changes its name and iconography)

On the one hand, it makes an impressive list. On the other, I have many stadiums left to see. It may happen.

See you along the Trail.

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August 31, 2013 · 10:43 am

It was nice

Anyone for tennis, wouldn’t it be nice?

Cream first posed the question in 1968. Today I came up with an answer.

IMG_1165 (800x600)Many, many pounds and long ago, not as long ago as 1968 but long ago nonetheless, I enjoyed playing tennis. I never played competitively but I played regularly. Each evening I would jump on my bike and ride to the Grove City College tennis courts. Perhaps as many as 12 or 15 of us gathered. Our abilities varied, but we would play until dark.

Today – on a day when we held our breath while leaders of the United States pondered whether to attack Syria – on a day when colleagues faced serious illness – on a day when my heart and mind ranged many places – my son Eric and I attended the U.S. Open.

We watched men’s singles, men’s doubles, mixed doubles, women’s singles, and women’s doubles. We saw a bit of everything.

We saw a number of seeds win. And we watched an upset of the top seeded mixed doubles team.

I came to realize that doubles is an amazing, fast-paced, and exciting.

I learned that my old doubles strategy of serving the ball into the back of my doubles partner is not used by any of the top players.

We cheered. We laughed. We wandered through the grounds of the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center.

It was nice!

See you along the Trail.

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August 14, 2013 · 10:28 pm

I need to try again

Communities of accountability have a way of intersecting.

The same people often appear in different communities to which we are accountable. A person may play a key role in one community and stand on the periphery of others. Or a person may hold a key place in several communities.

Make rosters of my communities of accountability and you will find Merdine T. Morris on many of those lists. A few years ago, I described her in these words:

Merdine T. and I have been friends for more than 20 years. Friend really does not do our relationship justice, she is my mentor, teacher, challenger, comforter, disturber of my peace, guide, anchor . . . the list goes on.

Today I add, Merdine T. Morris is practically a one person community of accountability for me.

Three years ago, Merdine T.’s health failed and I reflected on what I thought might be our last visit.

Merdine T. recovered.

On Tuesday, Tricia, Eric and I went to see her. We arrived and told the receptionist we wanted to visit Merdine T. She paused a moment and said, “I don’t think Merdine T. is here.”

She checked a list and informed us that Merdine T. had gone to lunch with a group. On the one hand, this was disappointing. On the other, it was great, good news.

I carry Merdine T. in my heart and head and will always do so. But I give thanks to know that she can get out and around.

And I need to try to see her again before I leave for New York.

See you along the Trail.

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