Tag Archives: memories

L is for Lady

For many years, until her death, in 2010,
Lady roamed the Ghost Ranch,
creating memories that linger,
inspiring stories that continue to be told.

Technically true.
By traditional understandings of personhood,
Lady should not appear in this category.
She is a horse.
I know that.

But, as anyone who visited Ghost Ranch can tell you,
during her years on the ranch,
Lady demonstrated
(again and again and again) that
she had a personality;
she had a presence.

We see her still.

(And she has her own Facebook page.)

24 August 2010

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The still of early morning breaks
when, in the effort to digest
the evening’s overconsumption,
spasms clench my gut and stir me
to the cusp of sleep. There unsought
shadows of my failures greet me:
come again to shame, to haunt me.
Bitterly they rise and lurch from
memory into awareness,
one by one, then all together
they cascade into a torrent
pricking remorse with reminder
how deeply I depend on grace.

October 9, 2011
Shire on the Hudson

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Surprise is

Surfing through images,
electronically stored on my computer,
an image –
slightly more than a year old –
of a friend whose song ended too soon,
surprised me.

Sadness tugged my heart,
sorrow filled me;
thanksgiving surged,
gratitude flowed;
a tear and smile
as feelings and memories intermingled,
playing off each other.

Surprise is hard.
Surprise is good.
Surprise is life.

12 August 2011
Cleveland Heights, OH
with thanks to Kathy Lueckert

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Cold coffee

Alone, he sits in the far corner
where he can survey the whole shop.
He sees everything,
yet comprehends nothing;
he focuses not on the people or place.
Lost in thought,
trapped in feeling,
memories batter his spirit
they parade past his mind’s eye.
A legion of poor choices and bad decisions
march endlessly from his past and
define his present and
shape his future.
When he can stand to watch no more,
with an effort of will he shakes his head and
returns to the moment.
Fingers gnarled as pinon tree.
wrap around the mug before him.
The coffee has grown cold.

13 July 2011
Ghost Ranch, NM 

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Filed under National Park, Poem

The next wave

Without warning,
memories bubble to the surface,
absent faces loom before me,
grief crashes remorselessly into my heart,
rips at my spirit,
reopens unhealed wounds,
provides painful reminders:
words regretted as they passed my lips,
unsaid words forever rued,
deeds neglected,
love denied.
Shortcomings, missteps,
failures, and betrayals
wash through my memory,
flood my mind.
Tears flow freely
as I slowly,
rebuild my defenses
until the next wave,
until the next wave.

10 June 2011
Shire on the Hudson

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