It is a day I remember not that well;
a day of death, a day of loss.
I stumbled along in grief and shock.
Barely knowing then what I said or did;
now less will come to mind.
While memories fail,
raw feelings return and tear my soul.
Yet of that fear-filled painful day,
one thing I gratefully recall:
you were there,
through it all,
you were there.
9 July 2011
Greeley, CO, Estes Park, CO
Filed under Friends
Prayers this night for friends
who say farewell to fathers,
marking a significant change in life,
making a new beginning.
Prayers this night for those I do not know
who say farewell to loved ones,
marking a significant change in life,
making a new beginning.
Prayers this night for everyone
who makes transitions, be those changes
sought, desired, yearned for or
unexpected and unwelcome.
Peace to all.
See you along the Trail.
Filed under Friends
My spirit soared and my heart broke at the same time today.
Songs by Tommy Sands have a way of doing that to me.
Sands wrote “You Will Never Grow Old” for his brother Eugene (“Dino”) who died young, way too young, in a 1975 car accident.
Lines from the chorus spoke to me of members of my family and of friends:
You will never grow old
But you’ll always be growing
In our hearts, in our minds
In the home you left behind
Amen.
See you along the Trail.
“We all grow old,”
we hear someone say.
We laugh and we smile
at the truth and the lie
those words convey.
11 May 2012
Shire on the Hudson
Filed under Poem
The NAACP offers an opportunity to sign an open letter to Florida Prosecutor Angela Corey who will handle the case of the death of Trayvon Martin. The letter asks her to “to pursue this case with the energy and gravity that it warrants.”
Michael W. Waters acknowledges that:
Symbols have long been important for religious and spiritual reflection. These symbols have been employed to provide greater understanding to transcendent truths, to provide comfort amid chaos, and to inspire the faithful to put their faith to action towards the common good. Many times, these symbols have emerged from rather mundane objects closely associated with a historical event
He goes on to reflect about the symbols contained in Trayvon’s death: Skittles, iced tea, and a hoodie.
Let Skittles, iced tea, and the hoodie become symbols of truth, inspiration and comfort for a new generation of protesters against the on-going crucifixion of innocent flesh at the hands of a corrupt system of oppression and marginalization that has for too long tortured the masses and tainted our country’s legacy.
See you along the Trail.
Filed under Human Rights
From Ghost Ranch’s Facebook page:
We are deeply saddened by the sudden passing of our director of education & program yesterday morning, Ed DeLair. Thank you all, for your kind words and sentiments.
Services will be held Monday, February 6, at 10:30 a.m. at the Agape Center at Ghost Ranch. A gathering for lunch will follow in the dining hall.
Please keep his wife Becky and their four children, Eddie, Tom, Will and Eva in your prayers.
Son Eric, who worked at Ghost Ranch this past summer and knew Ed, shared the news with me via a text. Not wanting to believe, I fired a text of denial back to Eric. After some searching, it became clear that I should not have doubted. And then the news from the ranch itself.
Through tears that clouded my heart, an image emerged: a bright July morning, Ed standing outside the Dining Hall, Kitchen Mesa bursting with sun, steam 
rising from the coffee cup held in his hand, a big smile on his face.
Ed and I met in Israel. He took part in a travel-study seminar to Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories organized by the Presbyterian Peacemaking Program. The picture shows him with his presbytery team on that trip. That’s pretty much the same smile he had on the July morning in New Mexico. Actually, that’s pretty much the same smile he always had on his face.
Over the years we bumped into each other at various places around the denomination. Most recently, we had several conversations at Ghost Ranch this past July. Clearly Ed was where he wanted to be, where he was supposed to be. And now, for reasons I cannot explain, he is not.
Many words come to mind to describe Ed – you can see a lot of them on his Facebook page – on the Ghost Ranch Facebook page:
Good
Kind
Decent
Committed
Caring
Solid (mutual friend Bob Brashear uses that one; it fits)
Competent
Faithful
Faith-filled
I grieve for Ed’s family and friends.
I grieve for the Ghost Ranch staff and the extended Ghost Ranch community.
I grieve for all who have been torn by Ed’s death – all who mourn.
I pray that they have already experienced the grace of God sustaining them and the love of family and friends supporting them as they walk this shadowed valley. I pray they continue to do so.
And I give thanks for the life and love and witness of Ed DeLair who lived – lived well and lived fully.
To paraphrase the Presbyterian service of Witness to the Resurrection: “Even in the face of death – death that comes too soon – we make our song: alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!”
See you along the Trail.
Filed under Ghost Ranch People, Photo
Grief compounds grief.
Each new loss, however profound or simple, touches old losses, however simple or profound, however raw or well-healed.
The losses need not be ours. When a family member – someone we love – even a friend – endures a loss, it sets the spider web of our emotions trembling. It touches our soul.
Each new loss tears at us, raking the scars and the scabs we carry – sometimes causing minor irritation – sometimes a bit of seepage – sometimes opening afresh old wounds – sometimes inflicting new ones.
Grief compounds grief.
I have shared that insight with family, parishioners and friends.
I have known that intellectually.
I have lived that.
Grief compounds grief.
In recent days, a number of my friends have experienced the death of dogs – faithful pets, beloved companions.
I have grieved for each friend – I grieved with each friend.
And in that grieving, I have come to realize – that I still grieve for Charley – who shared life with our family – who shared life with my brother’s family – for many years. On a pretty day at the end of April, Charley was put to sleep following a period of illness.
With a heart that aches for many reasons, I say to my friends who grieve the loss of a pet – peace. Peace be with you. Remember. Shed a tear. And rejoice.
Grief compounds grief.
See you along the Trail.
Suspended between
birth
and
death
hope
and
despair
faith
and
doubt
sorrow
and
joy
indifference
and
love
we make our way,
we journey,
we live.
25 September 2011
Shire on the Hudson
Filed under Poem
Surfing through images,
electronically stored on my computer,
an image –
slightly more than a year old –
of a friend whose song ended too soon,
surprised me.
Sadness tugged my heart,
sorrow filled me;
thanksgiving surged,
gratitude flowed;
a tear and smile
as feelings and memories intermingled,
contradicting,
enhancing,
playing off each other.
Surprise is hard.
Surprise is good.
Surprise is life.
12 August 2011
Cleveland Heights, OH
with thanks to Kathy Lueckert
Filed under Poem
Unbidden,
a thistle grows in the yard,
a sturdy, prickly weed.
Unasked,
its green and purple hues
reveal
a simple mystery:
life,
death,
life to be,
triangle of eternity.
16 July 2011
Ghost Ranch, 2011
Along the Graybeard Trail 